5 essential tips to crush your never-ending to-do list anxiety
If you’re like me, you’ve experienced the middle-of-the-night wake-up where your brain wants to review ALL the items on your never-ending to-do list.
Or, you’ve begun to dread Monday mornings because you know there’s too many items on your to-do list and they all can’t possibly be completed in the week ahead.
Or, you get to the end of the day and feel like you added more items than you completed. If you’re feeling crushed by anxiety and overwhelm of a seemingly never-ending to-do list, read on for quick, actionable tips to tackle your to-do list now and feel instantly calmer about all there is to do.
Tip #1: Pause and breathe.
To tackle anxiety and overwhelm, it’s essential that you first calm your nerves before prioritizing your to-do list. You might say “I don’t have the time for that!!!” but it really only takes a few seconds to instantly give you peace of mind, and you’ll come with new energy and a better perspective on how to complete your tasks.
Try my 3-2-1 Embodiment Exercise: first, take 3 deep, slow breaths. There’s no right or wrong way to do this; it's just what feels relaxing to you. Next, as you continue breathing, identify 2 places in your body that feel calm, relaxed, warm, or supported (I like to focus on my back resting into the chair). Finally, focus on just 1 toe in your feet and pay attention to how it feels pressed into the ground. Don’t you instantly feel better? Ready to look at your to-do list now?
Tip #2: Pick three items from your never-ending to-do list.
Review your to-do list and pick only three items that are most important to complete now. “Now” is whatever time frame you are focused on - it could be this hour, today, or this week. Ask yourself “If I only had time to complete three items today (or your timeframe), what would those be?”
Just three tasks! I know it’s tempting, but any more and I guarantee you will feel overwhelmed and anxious again.
Once you complete these three items, you can repeat this exercise and finish more tasks, but for right now, let’s focus on this small set that can actually be accomplished.
Tip #3: Ask for assistance.
To-do lists often feel never-ending and overwhelming because we tend to take on too much ourselves. High standards, perfectionism, overachieving, and people-pleasing can make you feel as if you are the only one that can complete the tasks on your to-do list. But in reality, we can delegate or ask for help with most things. It can feel uncomfortable to ask, or we might have to get creative on the “how” it would happen.
If you’re struggling with asking for assistance completing your to-do list items, I challenge you to make a list of 10 people you can ask for help. If your to-do list is filled with work tasks, these don’t all have to be co-workers. For example, could your partner or friend help you with a task at home to free up time for you to focus on work items? Once you have your list of 10 (yes, 10!, don’t stop at 5!) first reflect with a bit of gratitude for the support system you do have around you. Even if these 10 people can’t help with the tasks in front of you right now, it’s nice to know they are on your team! Next, review the remaining items on your to-do list (the items you did not pick to complete now) and see which items can be delegated to someone else.
Tip #4: Reschedule non-urgent tasks.
The remaining tasks on your to-do list won’t be completed within the “now” timeframe and won’t be reassigned to someone else, so you’ll need to complete them another time. I know this sounds difficult - if not impossible - because you likely have many urgent items on your to-do list. This is where it’s important to pause a moment and ask yourself, “Is this really urgent? Does this really need to get done now?” It is likely your worried and anxious mind that is thinking everything is urgent. From a calm, relaxed place (see tip #1) review your list again and you’ll likely see that most things can be done at a later time. Now, take a look at your schedule and make a plan on when to tackle those remaining items on your list.
Tip #5: Celebrate!
The hectic pace of our society often has us bouncing from task to task without time to pause and reflect in between. This contributes to keeping us in a heightened state of anxiety and overwhelm. Take a moment to celebrate that you’ve now reframed your to-do list overwhelm into manageable, actionable steps. How does it feel in your body to reflect on this? Do you feel more calm and relaxed?
It also helps to take a break between tasks or between your “task group” of three items before diving in again. What would feel good to you after completing a task? Is it stepping outside to breathe fresh air and soak up some sunshine? Is it making a cup of tea? Is it taking your dog for a quick walk around the block? These actions relax our mind, get us out of our heads (and our anxiety loops!), and help train our brain that calm and to-do lists can coexist.
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